Should We Teach Children How to Fight?

When watching kids play, you’ll often see one lose his temper when he doesn’t get his way. The feeling that arises when he doesn’t get his way is completely normal and okay, what we aren’t okay with is the reaction to lash out at the other child in response to that feeling.

Adults aren’t any different. When you watch a sporting event, you’ll often see tempers get the best of the athletes and fights break out during what was supposed to be a game. In some sports, like hockey (one of my family’s favorites!), the fighting aspect may even be encouraged. The crowd goes crazy, and some argue that it even has a place in the game so that the bigger, tougher guys on the team can stand up for the smaller, skill-based players when they take a big hit or are getting roughed up by the opposing team trying to slow them down.

When two kids fight, you’ll often hear the adults say, “they're just kids,” or, “boys will be boys." I'd like to argue, though, that they're just human. Adults and kids alike!

Fighting is a natural part of life, and unfortunately, children may sometimes be put into situations where they need to stand up for themselves or a smaller, weaker child. Teaching them how to fight should be an essential part of their childhood.

However, it is not because we want them to fight.

We teach our kids how to fight so that they don’t have to. When training martial arts, the most important things you learn are how to respect everyone (including your opponent), how to control your actions (even when you are angry), and who you are at your core. How do you respond to stressful scenarios? Do you run? Do you stand up and fight? Do you let your pride get the best of you? How do you walk away from a fight? When should you walk away from a fight?

These questions are all critical for a child to answer for themselves, and martial arts training will help guide them to the answers on their own. No one will sit down and tell them the answers. They have to come to them on their own.

How? Through learning how to fight.

Next Thursday, September 14 we are canceling all of our kids’ classes for the night and holding a free bullying prevention class from 4-6 PM open to the public. We would like all of our youth students ages 6 & up to attend this class and invite some friends to also. 

Our space is limited, so please reserve your spot at the link below (even current students should reserve their place). We encourage parents to attend this class also, as we will talk about some valuable information that you and your children should discuss at home so that you are on the same page when it comes to how they will handle these challenging scenarios that are bound to happen.

CounterBully: More Information and Reserve Your Spot Online - 

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/counterbully-seminar-tickets-37441138453

5 Steps to Handling a Bully

School has started back here in Oak Ridge, and, unfortunately, that means many children are waking up each morning fearful of coming face to face with a bully in their school. We hope your child is not one who has to confront this fear each and every day, but the sad reality is that many do!

Here are 5 strategic steps to follow if your child is experiencing bullying:

1. Stand Up for Themselves - Right away establish that the behavior being demonstrated by the bully is not acceptable. Your child needs to make eye contact with the bully and tell them firmly to stop. Unfortunately, most children will not do this out of fear of injury if things escalate physically. This is where martial arts training comes in!
2. Tell a Teacher - Make sure your child knows to report any bullying incidents to a teacher. Here, they also must practice making eye contact and speaking like an adult. We need clear, concise statements to bring the problem to the teacher's awareness. Whining will not get the job done - confident and respectful communication is key.
3. Talk to You - If bullying continues after standing up for themselves and telling a teacher (which it often will), your child needs to know that they can and should have a strong line of communication with their parents. Ask them about their day, what's troubling them, and make sure you listen when they bring you their concerns.
4. Bring It to the Principal - Depending on the severity, sometimes it will now fall into your hands to bring the issue to the principal's attention. Keep in mind that their plates are full of many issues going on at school, so a calm but concerned approach is necessary here to make sure they are aware of what is going on with your child.
5. Back to Rule #1 - When all else fails, your child needs to be prepared to stand up for themselves. Unfortunately, even after parents, teachers and principals have been involved, bullies may still continue to harass your child (they'll just wait until they're alone)! Ultimately your child is the only one that will always be present when the bullying occurs. Giving them the physical and mental tools they need to stand up for themselves can do miracles for their confidence, peace, and happiness at school. This will lead to better grades and an overall happier, healthier, and more confident child. 

There is one more HUGE tactic that we can bring into our school systems to combat bullying and that is reaching as many kids as we can with our CounterBully program. This program teaches children the steps outlined above, but most importantly dives deeper into the root cause of bullying, why it exists and what we can do when we see it happening. We offer this seminar as a free service to our community.

Click the link below to sign you and your child up for our upcoming FREE CounterBully seminar or contact us at (865)481-8901 to host a CounterBully seminar at your school.

Upcoming Seminar - https://www.eventbrite.com/e/counterbully-seminar-tickets-27185958935