goals

If at first you don't succeed, try again. And again. And again.

Full disclosure: I cannot do a pull-up.  Not one single, half-hearted, with a running start and a jump, legs swinging pull-up.  And it is the most frustrating thing.  Why?  Because I’m trying.  And I’m still not where I want to be.

It’s also okay.  Why?  Because I’m trying.  And that’s what matters.

Some days it doesn’t feel like that’s enough.  When my arms feel like jelly from the effort I’ve put into my upper body workout and my hands are blistered from gripping the pull-up bar and my abs are screaming from the exertion of trying and failing to pull my lanky, 6’, 180 lb. body up to a metal stick that I’m sure is about to rip from the ceiling despite assurances from professionals that it’s safely and solidly welded to the frame of the building, trying doesn’t feel like nearly enough.  But, as long as it’s my best, it is.

A year ago I couldn’t jump up and hang from the bar.  I’d leap up and my hands would smack the metal, but my upper body strength was so little that I couldn’t even grip the bar before falling.  So instead of focusing on pull-ups, I focused on improving my upper body strength in general.  I started doing body weight exercise, and wouldn’t you know it, six months later I still couldn’t do a pull-up.  But...I could jump up and grab the bar. 

Of course, I still wasn’t strong enough to dead hang.  I’d leap up and grab the bar and then as my weight came down, gravity would try to rip my shoulders from their sockets and I would come crashing back down to the ground and the harsh reality that I still had a long way to go before I’d achieve my goal.  So after eating my feelings, I increased my upper body workouts and added some additional core work.  Three months later...still no pull-ups.  But...I could jump up, grab the bar, and dead hang.

I could also do an assisted pull-up.  I was still not where I needed to be, but I was making progress - all because I never stopped trying.  If I’d let myself become defeated the first time I realized couldn’t do a pull-up, I would never have gained the strength to jump up and grab the bar.  If I’d given up the second time I tried to do a pull-up, then I wouldn’t be strong enough to dead hang.  If I’d given up the third or fourth or fifth time I tried, my push-ups/planks/sit-ups wouldn’t have improved.  If I’d quit after the tenth or twentieth try, I wouldn’t be able to do an assisted pull-up.  If I’d stopped trying the hundredth time, I would never have been able to do a flexed hang.

Some days, all we can see is what we can’t do or how far away we are from our goals.  But if you stop trying you’ll never discover what you can do or see how far you’ve come since you started.  So when you feel like you’re  facing an impossible goal, don’t give up and don’t get in your head.  Give it your best, every time, and never stop trying.  I can’t do a pull-up yet, but I’ll let you know when I get there.  What are some of the “impossible” goals you’re working toward now? 

Purpose

In everything we do in life, having a sense of purpose is one of the most important and rewarding aspects of any activity. The presence or lack of purpose can make or break your success. Stay with me, and I will tie this together with martial arts, New Year's resolutions and the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC).

Let’s start with the latter. In January of 2015, Jon Jones and Daniel Cormier came into their fight with a significant amount of “bad blood,” and the feud between the two of them was frequently marketed to sell the program. Jon Jones was the reigning champion of the Light Heavyweight division and was ranked as the number 1 pound-for-pound fighter in the world. Daniel Cormier was undefeated coming into the fight and posed a significant threat to Jon’s belt because of a great wrestling background and intense style.

Jones dominated most aspects of the bout - including the clinch and takedown portion that DC, as a wrestler, should have capitalized on. The champion won the fight via unanimous decision and continued to show us that he is one of the best fighters, if not the best fighter, we have ever seen. What I want to discuss is that immediately following the final bell, Jones made a tasteless gesture towards Daniel Cormier. Jones himself described the act as "classless" in the post-fight interview.

The reason I bring this up is to discuss the purpose of the gesture (which is probably pretty clear - to insult his opponent and show his dislike for Daniel Cormier) and also his purpose for fighting in the UFC. If his purpose is solely for selfish gain (money, fame, pride, testing his abilities, etc.), then I guess the “classless” gestures don’t matter much. If he is fighting for a purpose bigger than himself (being a role model/inspiration, providing for his family, etc.), than I think his victory would be sweeter without the negatives gestures. The same goes for Ronda Rousey, who flipped off an opponent after defeating her, and the countless other fighters we’ve seen make unsportsmanlike gestures or remarks after the fight.

Before I go any further, this is not a judgment of Jon Jones, Ronda Rousey, or any other fighters. I have never fought in a Mixed Martial Arts fight, so I wouldn't understand how high the emotions are running. Maybe these gestures are adrenaline-fueled reactions that just come with the territory. I understand the trash-talk leading up to the fights to build excitement and sell tickets, and I know that sometimes they honestly don’t like each other (which seems to be the case this time). I also get that some fighters might have to build up this dislike to go in the cage and fight with enough tenacity to pull off the win as some people would find it difficult to hurt another person intentionally.

You can see that Jones has at least thought about the impact he can have outside of the octagon if you listen to or read some of his interviews and statements. In one such instance, Jones discussed another great fighter who returns next month, Anderson Silva, and the effects of his two devastating back-to-back losses to Chris Weidman:

“It was just sad. I know how long Anderson Silva’s been working to be who he is…It’s not supposed to end that way. What I’m hoping is that people remember Anderson for all of the magnificent things he’s done, all the lives he’s touched, all the people he’s inspired, and I’m hoping that Anderson just stays away from the sport and continues to be an inspiration outside of the octagon. Not fight again. Anderson can do seminars, he can do motivational speaking, he can help all the kids in Brazil. I mean, he’s such an idol. His greatness has just begun.” (http://mmajunkie.com/2014/02/jon-jones-hopes-anderson-silva-just-stays-away-from-the-sport)

So if Jones has the same ambitions for his career, is giving the “suck it” symbol to his opponent after the fight the way he wants to be viewed? What about Ronda flipping the bird? In both of these instances, there was a lot of bad blood leading up to the event, and the gestures came after an intense fight, filled with emotion and adrenaline. So my question is, would you enjoy these matches more without the “classless” remarks and gestures? Or do you think they are just part of the game? If the purpose is to inspire others and improve lives, I think doing so with the respect and discipline of a real martial artist would make a bigger impact than petty retaliation.

My brother, Nick Corrigan, once fought a professional Mixed Martial Arts fight, and he gets more amped by adrenaline than anyone I have ever seen (as you will see if you watch this video). At the end of the fight, however, you will not see any “classless” gestures. Instead, you will see him help his opponent up, shake his hand, and go back after the fight one more time to make sure he is ok. That image inspires me ten times more than watching an athlete getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars flip the bird or give the “suck it” gesture after winning their fight.

In case you haven't seen it, here’s my brother’s fight - it’s an old video I uploaded on MySpace many years ago so I can only get it to play in the FireFox browser -

https://myspace.com/pmaoakridge/video/instructor-nick-nicki-spandex-corrigan/8963284

So for your resolutions, have you considered how purpose could help you stay motivated? I think it’s been well documented how much we fail when it comes to our resolutions. Most Americans have good intentions, even if they aren’t “resolutions,” for the New Year, but studies say we will have lost that vision by Valentine’s Day! Maybe knowing your purpose can help this year.

For example, hitting a weight loss goal can be tough when all you are looking at is the number on a scale. If you stay focused on the reasons for being healthier and getting in better shape, you might find it easier to stay on track. That is why we put so much emphasis on the Martial Arts Way of Life in the Corrigan family and at Progressive Martial Arts. Remembering that it is a way of life helps to keep us motivated to get back on the mat every single week!

Black Belt might be one short-term goal, but martial arts training is SO much bigger than that. If you miss class one day, get back on the mat the next. If something disastrous happens in your life that causes you to stop training for an extended period, get back on the mat as soon as possible. Make exercise part of your lifestyle, and you will reap the benefits over and over in every aspect of your life - living healthier, happier, being more confident and content in everything that you do. In the big picture, whatever your ultimate purpose is for your life, health, happiness and confidence should help you be even more successful.

Happy New Year!

Goals: When to Use Them and When to Lose Them

We all set goals. We set S.M.A.R.T. goals (more on that acronym later). We set STUPID goals (that one isn’t an acronym, just emphasized). Some goals we achieve, and some we don’t. The problem is, between the goals that we never achieve and the ones we achieve at first but lose afterwards, we end up with a net growth of close to zero! Let’s take a look at how to set the right goals, know when to use them, and know when to lose them.

SMART Goals

Learning how to set SMART goals was really helpful for me. For those that haven’t heard of this before, SMART stands for specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. This is a method of setting goals that is taught in many different branches of study because goal setting is useful in almost any activity, career, or lifestyle.

A specific goal means taking the time to think about the details, rather than setting a general goal. For example, instead of saying, “I’m going to get back in shape,” you could say, “I’m going to join Progressive Martial Arts Academy and train 2-3 times per week.” :-) We want to lay out a plan for our goals to help achieve them.

A measurable goal is just what it sounds like. Make your goals things you can measure. This enables you to actually track your progress, which will keep you motivated. For example, numbers on a scale, waist size, money in savings, and time spent with loved ones can all be measured to give yourself some numbers to check.

Setting an attainable goal means setting goals that are possible to achieve. For me, it means setting smaller goals along the way that help me see that I am growing closer to my ultimate goal. This will increase your confidence and determination to reach that final goal. The obvious martial arts connection here is the colored belts we use to measure progress. Imagine how much more difficult it would be to get from white belt to black belt if there weren’t any belts in between (it used to be that way)! The other colors are extremely useful for tracking our progress, seeing our progress, and feeling like we’ve made progress at each level. All of these smaller progress indicators will help you reach your BIG goal.

Realistic goals come back to being attainable. This doesn’t mean you should only set small goals. In fact, the big goals are sometimes the easier goals to achieve because you want them so badly! Have you ever completed a big task and felt so good afterwards that you said, “That was a lot easier than I thought!” Chances are the task wasn’t easy, you were just highly motivated to do it.

Timely means to put some timeframes on your goals. Sooner than someday, though! Don’t use the “someday” word, although this one has to tie into the rest of the points. For example, saying you want to achieve your Black Belt in 2 years could be very unrealistic. This is both something that is ultimately not your decision, and highly unlikely depending on the martial art that you are training in. On that note, I don’t recommend using belts as your goals to try to achieve a belt by a certain time. For weight loss, timely also means in a “reasonable” time. It’s best to shoot for between a 1/2 pound to 2 pounds per week. Any more than this is not encouraged.

When to Use Them and When to Lose Them

Goals are great to use in the beginning of a journey. The first few weeks of working towards a goal are usually the most difficult to get through. During this period you are breaking bad habits or building new ones (usually both) and this can be both very challenging and very frustrating. This time is where many people lose motivation. During this period, if you have set some SMART goals, they might just be the motivation you need to keep going.

Have you ever reached a goal only to lose the progress you made shortly afterwards? Of the thousands of people that have tried the famous BeachBody workouts (such as P90X or Insanity), most people don’t make it through (because they are challenging!). But of the few people that do, all of them that I have met have fallen back to where they were before the program within a year of completing it! The problem is that most short term programs usually aren’t maintainable. If you can’t maintain what you did to reach your goal after the program finishes, you will likely fall back to where you started.

Try this for analyzing a program before you start:

What if we lay out not only intermediate goals and plans for the timeframe we think it will take to reach our ultimate goal, but also a maintenance plan for after we do? With fitness I think this is a lot easier than we make it. Find some exercise that you enjoy doing, and then follow a healthy but maintainable and enjoyable diet and you are all set (just kidding, I know it’s not always that easy). If we have to do a workout plan to achieve our goal that we won’t be able to maintain afterwards, let’s NOT do it! Wouldn’t it be better to lose that 20 pounds over the course of a year if it meant it stayed off for the rest of our lives?

The same applies to martial arts. If you set your sights on Black Belt as your goal, and follow a training plan to get there that you aren’t going to maintain once you achieve it, will it really be worth it? If your goal was just to scratch it off a bucket list, then that answer may be yes. But if your reasons for achieving your Black Belt include growing as a person, learning to defend yourself, being more confident, and getting in the best shape of your life, then you won’t be happy to learn that those benefits will all disappear within the first year of quitting your training.

The Answer

What if we learn to set SMART goals for the items I just listed (growing, defending yourself, confidence, fitness, etc.) at the beginning of our journey? Then, as we grow closer to reaching the goal that we originally set out to achieve, we wean ourselves off of using goals and learn to just enjoy what we’ve achieved. We become motivated to maintain what we have because of the value it adds to our lives. If you learn to set smart goals, enjoy the journey, enjoy the training, and then enjoy the benefits of reaching your goal, you will continue to reap the rewards for the rest of your life. Remember the name of this blog - The Martial Arts Way of Life.

In a sense we could call these lifestyle goals. We set small goals towards making something part of our lifestyle - healthy eating, fun exercise, spending time with loved ones, relieving stress, getting (and staying) out of debt, and the list goes on! Then once we have made them a part of our lifestyle, the goals disappear. You are now motivated by the joy that you get from living a positive, healthy life with the people you love. This phenomenon is what occurs on the mat. It may take you many years to make it to Black Belt, but once you get there you realize that it was only the beginning of the journey, because now the rest of your life is in front of you. You used the goals in the beginning (white to brown) but then ditched them and just enjoyed the lifestyle once you got there (black).

On a final note, we should never stop growing. So once you have achieved a goal and integrated it into your life, remember to move on to another area that needs growth (or reduction!).

"In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it." - Robert A Heinlein